rumor destroyed.

its raining mad hard and i cant sleep so ill write.If you havent heard the news I got a new phone. No this isn't a rumor. haha get it. cause my old phone was a rumor. Anyhoo. i ordered it in the mail and hadn't activated it had my numbers transfered over extra for 6 days. why would I wait? My old phone had some issues. ok alot of issues. The light didnt work in it, The keypad didnt work etc. but I knew it extensively. I knew how to set the calendar, use EZ tip calculator, I was familar with the ringtone I had for 2 years. You get the picture I knew this phone. so even though it barely worked and wasn't reliable (wouldn't even always turn on) I couldn't let it go. I knew I was upgrading to a new phone that was more reliable, fully functioning but there was something about the security of the known. It was reliably unreliable and I had accepted that. I had accepted its quirks and although they bothered me I accepted them and moved on. so heres what went down

Tuesday was also pouring down rain when I was driving to campus. It was bad like traffic, accidents etc. Well I parked in an overflow lot and had 4 minutes to walk to class and I was walking on this sidewalk when a truck flew by hit a MAJOR HUGE puddle that like waterfalled over me. Im talking about my head my arms my feet I was covered. Like out of a movie I didn't know that actually happens to people.so glad I have a speech to present today... well folks my (old) phone was in my hand. I preceded to go to class cold but realized after class that when i went to text it went to contacts instead. and when I went to call it picked which numbers it wanted. My phone was reliable about its quirks this was a whole new world. I didn't know how to operate it. So after classes were done for the day I went to the store and activated my phone. bc the part hooks into works I got all my numbers transfered.

so whats the point in this long drawn out story you ask?

My phone my hanging by a thread, I knew there was something for me better out there but I couldn't let my old phone go. Familiarity won out over a brand new phone.
The bible says when you accept the Lord into your heart you become a new creation which means the old has gone and the new has come. The new creation you become is better then the old and all the sins and failures and faults are given to the Lord when you let him in to your heart. I knew that my new phone was a better phone. It was reliable, fully functioning etc. but we cling onto what we know. in faith we jump. We jump into the arms of love becoming a new creation because we know we the gift of salvation is deep and wide and so wonderful that its aprox 2354646856763 times better then the old life. My new phone trumps my old phone. so glad I had to give it up because now I have something better. but i had to give up my old phone in order to have my new phone. We have to lay down our lives daily. its totally worth it. I love the new phone and I love my Jesus.

love a daughter of the king

Operation

I've been thinking alot lately. Who am I? Whose am I? Where am I going? Where have I been? Where I am I now? What am I going to do with my life? How will I accomplish this? Who will I rely on to accomplish this.

I've had doubts too. Many. Im not strong enough. Im not creative enough. Im not deep enough. Im not intelligent enough. Im not consistent enough. Im not whole enough. and the list goes on

As I begin to discern I learn. and wait in eager expectation for the anwsers to these questions and the constant love of a god who says "this is my plan for you my child".

I'm currently listening to a song by Third Day called "I will always be true". Its talking about how God says he will always be true and be a shoulder to cry on and how he will give me his life. The truth is my friend Im overwhelmed. Ive never felt so overwhelmed in my whole life. Overwhelmed by my Savior's soverignity. I am overwhelmed about who he has put in my life. The greatest people a kid could ask for. I mean seriously I have so many people that care about me deeply. and its like wow Lord thank you for blessing me with friends that love me. and then I encounter his love over and over again and its this downpour of relentless pursuing love of depth . i am blessed. I am covered by the king.

Have you ever played the game operation? I feel like Im that guy and God is the one playing and he knows what parts of my life I need and what parts I dont. Its this life sized version of the game where he knows what I need so he begins to take away the parts that aren't working or that hinder me or that draw me away from him and Im left with less... but so much more. I didn't need it all.

so my prayer becomes take it all Lord.Operate on my heart and let you be in the center of it. Purify me Lord. My sins are many. I am so broken. You are perfect and can make me whole.

He knows me better then I know myself and Im like woah. So i begin to follow his lead.

Love,
A daughter of the king.

you're beautiful...

My hope this past summer was to fall in love with God. Madly Deeply in love with my gracious savior. As I fell with him this summer I fell in love with his creation. I fell in love with waterfalls, and the beach, and arizona buttes, and North Georgia Mountains. I fell in love with bright shining stars in Arizona, and the sunsets of a quiet beach in Florida. this notoriously mostly indoor kid is now so into wanting to be outside its unreal. I spent most of my days today looking at outdoor jobs in places like Alaska and Utah. I just wanted to be somewhere that gorgeous. that beautiful. I see God in his creation. He didn't have to put that much detail into every sunset... BUT he did! Its there and its wonderful and peaceful and such a blessing to enjoy and now Im fixated about being in the most epic beautiful remote places because I want to see that beauty to the max. I want to see that mountain with the view that goes on forever because you cant explain the beauty. No one can say well "so and so" designed that sunset and that's why it so lovely. or "so in so designed the Atlantic ocean" but I would have designed it differently... why? because you cant! It doesn't matter if you're a brainiac. Neurosurgeons cant put stars in their place. but God can. and he did. and he lavishes love on me through his beauty in nature. God is consistent friends. and in a way I didn't even realize before. I always knew that he was consistent but I never realized that he was consistent in his beauty. Not only does the sun always rise but the stars shine and the mountains stand. the clouds form fun shapes and the picture of the sky makes for a beautiful canvas painting. I love the song by Lifehouse called "Everything". One line in particular hits me like a rock it goes " and how could I stand here with you and not be moved by you". Im swept away by my marvelous and I am moved by his most lovely sunrises and sunsets. Thank you Jesus... I can't remain the same. Moses saw the back of you and was changed. completly changed. life altering. You're Beautiful. i am changed.
MCD.
-Galatians 1:10

consistency.

As I sit here trying to pass some time before my next class in one hour and 18 minutes I am filled with thanksgiving. Thanksgiving deep from my heart about several things. 1) My 7:10 class got canceled due to hurricaness. Boo hurricane...yay no class. 2.) This is my first class week but I already feel at home here. ODU is a fit. and I feel Gods handprints all over my transition. I keep meeting people that are such an encouragement to my transition. Lovely people. I love it here. I even love this "hip" computer lab im currently in. I love when you can hear tons of people talking far away but its quiet where you are working. Its such a random quirk but its true. 3). I love my family and friends. I love how much Valk thinks I should play Quidditch and how Brocke constantly encourages me. I love talking Hogwarts with Katie and having heart to hearts with Mallory. I love hanging out with DB, talking with Little (the best little in all the land), and phone chats with Becca and I LOVE tues/thursday lunches with Valentine. I love it and I love the people the Lord has put in my life and the ones he continues too. I love all of Gods wonderful children and I love being blessed with constant encouragement and support. I love them. and I love this life that God has given me. He is steadfast and constant while I am ever changing but he loves me. And not only does he love me but he blessed me with amazing people to do life with. Amazing people to share life with. Amazing people to GROW in life with. I will forever be growing. This reminds me of a verse found in Luke 9:23.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me"

its the daily word that gets me. The truth is my dearest friends. Im not consistent. I love consistency and friends who are consistent but its a quality I completely lack. To pick up your cross daily you have to be... CONSISTENT. CONSISTENT in putting the Lord first, consistent in kindness, CONSISTENT in finding Joy in your struggles and trials, CONSISTENT in overcoming challenges with integrity and the list goes on. Its a choice. A choice to follow Christ. A choice to live in his presence and walk humbly. Micah 6:8 talks about what this looks like played out...

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God"

We can do this.. TOGETHER!but ...I lack consistency.
I will be the first one to tell you i'm consistent at being inconsistent.
Will you?

I love his love,
Mary