The longest blog post I've ever/ will ever write

Its 12:36 and I begin to write. It is now 12:37. Maybe I should have just said its 12:37. But I’ll start this post before 12:37 turns into 12:38. Crap now its 12:38. Ok Now I will start.
I love listening to Pandora. One of the reasons is I love the 90s and 2000. I love music from the year 2000. It always sounds quite 90s like they didn’t release it on time but come on it has such a 90s sound. I love hearing songs from the 90s (and 2000) that I have never heard before because when I was the age these songs came out I was more preoccupied with singing John Jacob Schmidt at the top of my lungs and sing veggie tales songs. Anyways but my point is that the 90s were my favorite. I will explain to you why. It’s not only the decade I was born into (only 38 days into the decade mind you but still) but I love the power rangers, fanny packs, and my childhood (1990-2008 rip). Now I can’t explain to you what happened in the first 37 years of the decade because I was still a womb child but I can tell you I have some amazing moments from the 90s and my life. But I do have a few that stick out. Top 7. The first one is my all time favorite childhood memory but the others are in no particular order. I labeled the year.

1. When we lived in Sicily my mom and I went to this resort and it had slides that went into the ocean. So off the coast of northern Italy my favorite memory of my childhood exists. Which is interesting because when you are making a memory you don’t think oh today will be one of my favorite days. Especially when you’re like 7. But it was. You just do life and then look back and reflect and be like wow that was such a good day. (1997 I’m 97 % sure it was 1997)


2.When we lived in Kansas I wanted to have everyone in the neighborhood over to swim at my pool. But this wasn’t just any type of pool. It was a plastic pool with a slide. Haha. Who has a hotdog pool party and invites many neighbors as a 4 year old. This kiddo right here. And it was epic. And it wasn’t even my birthday. It was just a summer pool party in my driveway. On concrete with hotdogs. (1994)

3.Ok this memory is cheating because technically I was 19 but it will ALWAYS be remembered as one of my favorite days ever. My brother Matt and I drove to DC for the day to see the play Next To Normal. Shortly after that it made it to Broadways but with our student discounts we saw it for 15 bucks each. What a steal. And everybody knows how cheap I am. This day was ridiculously good. It was raining and it was January 2009 and we decided to go to the zoo. Because when we are together I swear we retract to being kids and we are like MOMS NOT HERE! NO MUSEUMS and NO RULES! So we do ridiculous things like go to the zoo in the rain or go to double feature movies (Boston 2010) because we never did that as kids. SO anyway I bought overpriced umbrellas (he insisted …I hate umbrellas) I’m with Hillary Duff on believe to…
“Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean”

Anyways so we went to the zoo and went to this cool macaroni place and saw Next to Normal the most amazing play I’ve ever seen and It was such an awesome day. I will never forget it. And technically I used the money my grandparents gave me to pay for some of the day so I guess you could consider it one of my favorite gifts ever. I’m glad it didn’t take me until I was like 36 to realize that relationships are more important than anything. (God , others) and that these moments are precious. We can’t get so caught up in the mundane of life to remember what the most important to us. Amen. (2009) So not 90s.

4.Fun in the Son. I went three summers in high school but the first year was the best. It was like a Christian conference camp thing in Georgia. And the first year I went was all my favorite people who were way older than me and about to go off to college and the guys dressed up as super heroes and it was awesome. I was still a child 15 so (2005)

5.I worked for TEAMeffort youth missions camp and during the end of my summer we went hiking and it started raining. I blogged about on August 7,2010 so you can read it for the full story. I’ve never felt that at peace before. Being in the presence of God is a place overflowing with peace. (2010)


6. Summer 2011 in Washington. the whole summer. Epic. The people. Gleanings, Frisbee, Trivia, Water Ballons, Climbing Trees, Ace hardware etc.Relationships with people. Seeing that no matter where you live we're really not all that different. we just pronounce things like crayons differently.





7. Chrysalis 2007 and rec Basketball 2007. Our team was stacked. And we won all the time. And we were neon yellow. And I still have the picture as proof of our awesomeness. And many games we were winning but more than 20 so we had the mercy rule. And that was always are goal.

There are more and the truth is if I wrote this an hour later or on a different day some of them would be different because I change my mind a lot. But I wrote it today starting at 12:38 so that’s the list of 12:38-1:39 January 10th, 2011. I write this to help remind myself that life is special when it’s filled with these moments. And the interesting thing about these moments is some of the moments that didn’t make the list. I’ve been to some fancy places but that’s not what this list was about. This list was about the people that I shared these moments with and the God I encountered and continue to encounter and during the time I didnt realize just how awesome what was going on. Thats what makes it special. You never know what you are creating when you are creating it. SO in 2012 lets have these type of moments. Lets celebrate life by embracing Joy and embracing the time we have on Earth. and lets explore, laugh, cry,seek justice, embrace hope, and have authentic conversations and relationships with people.Maybe we try to hard. maybe we put to much pressure on certain situation or days to be so awesome like prom or graduation. but those werent even close. because to me its about those ordinary days that turned out different then I expected. An ordinary day that had depth and spontaneity.

I hope all your dreams come true today.
Micah 6:8
-Mary D.

mustard seed faith/ summer update bonanza

So a good friend of mine told me that I needed to blog because its been 2 monthes so Im taking her advice on that one. (Thanks DB!)

I’ve been thinking lately about what I would be passionate about if I was born in a differerent generation. I like to think I would have been right along side Susan B. Anthony or marched with Martin Luther King Jr.I would have loved to work under FDR.
I’ve started to think about the battles know our country is facing and what I want to stand up for. What social inequality issues need our attention the most and most social injustices we cannot prolong for another second. We get in a life pattern with our daily routines and the extraordinary becomes the ordinary and we often fail to fight for the underdogs but its important we never forget them. Its important we never forget the battles to still be fought. That we never forget the orphans, the widows, the social outcasts, the hurting, the poor, the single parents, the forgotten. And the list could go on and on. These are precious children of God. We must do more. We are called to do so much more.

I am really enjoying my time here in Washington and learning a lot. I believe that this is where God wanted me to spend the summer and its been so cool to see that affirmed over and over again through the course of this summer. I believe the community of Christ is an extended family so even If im far away from my geographic home I am with family. It’s very cool. I am learning a lot and really seeing that ministry is where the Lord wants me to be. I LOVE LOVE LOVE working with students and I think ive grown a lot this summer. Im still not an official grown up though. Haha not quite yet. This journey I am on is far from over and I feel like in many ways its just getting started.

I just want to encourage you in the fact that wherever you are and whoever you are God can use you. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says, “"…Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." If you have faith as small as a mustard he can use you! ( and mustard seeds are tiny!) With a mustard seed face we can move mountains and with a mustard seed faith we can stand up to the unique challenges that face our generation. With a mustard seed faith we can make a difference for the kingdom of God.God delights himself in you.

I want to be fully broken. I want him to break my heart for what breaks his. Thank you Lord for grace and for loving us through our brokeness and bitterness and selfishness. Thank you for being steadfast. You are enough and infinitly more.

Thanks be to God.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to the Beckster! The Best mother a dinosaur could ever ask for!Thank you for loving me and knowing that I'm God's child first and making really good hamburgers. Thank you for understanding my gypsy soul and being so kind and generous with your life. You are truly a Proverbs 31 woman. I love that I have your love for aqua shoes and old people!
-Mary

Soverignty in all of life

I finish my last exam tonight and then I am DONE for the summer. I cannot wait to be a SENIOR! That’s crazy! I was thinking today about what I’ve learned this school year most of all. 1 thing immediately comes to my mind... God’s sovereignty.

God is who he is. He ALONE is sovereign. In a messed up, broken world God is sovereign. We cannot change who he is but merely comprehend what that means. What it means to me is the God of the universe transcends any goal or hope I could have for my life because he alone is the hope of the world. And he is sovereign. He has plans for all us and he is a fair judge. I love that. I love that we can trust his judgment. So many of us live our lives by our emotions and are unpredictable in our reactions but God is not. He is not a human. He is not the best version of a person we admire times a million… No friends, HE IS GOD and he sovereign. His sovereignty isn’t based on natural disasters, or terrorists, or wars, or cancer, or chronic illness. He is who he.He won't breakup with you or ever leave you. Some people come and go but God will always remain. ALWAYS. He is who he was before you were alive, He remains who he is and he will continue to be who he is far after you time on Earth is over. As Christians we often turn to God in the worst of situations and thanking him in the best of possible outcomes. We fail to acknowledge he was sovereign throughout.We fail to acknowledge his soverignty when are lifes are "so-so" or somewhat stagnant. What im trying to say is God is who he regardless of your or my struggles or triumphs. He is always there for you but he is sovereign and his status doesn’t change just because something is going really well or really wrong. He is the kind of the Universe and he is soverign and just and righteous. Amen.

rock wall community

This morning I was working the Rockwall up at camp and I saw the coolest thing. This guy who was 17 was climbing the wall and as he was climbing he was encouraging the 12 year old girl climbing( I was belaying her) the side next to him. She was trying really hard but was very afraid of heights. They got a little half way up the wall and were sitting on a ledge part that sticks out (the side in between the sides they were climbing). They sat there and he tried to keep her calm as she was losing her cool. Her mom told me “they are in the same support group”. Well turns out they both have juvenile diabetes..so did every kid climbing that hour. Wow. I saw what community looked like in the face of this kid. He climbed at the same pace as her, sometimes a little before but now really. He encouraged her and was so nice even if she was freaking out. How many 17 year old boys do you know would be that kind and compassionate to a 12 year old girl. And not just that but he was enjoying his time on the wall. Like he really cared about her climbing.
Community is living life together. Through the journey. In their case they do community through their support group and fun adventures like this. I just loved to see what that community looked like played out. I loved to see how those parents just loved on each other and understood each other. Community is hard. It’s a commitment. Its not always convenient or always easy. What does your community look like? I hope there is at least 1 person climbing the wall with you. He’s a good person to have always by your side and he’s not letting go not a chance. God will never forsake you friend. Hows that for community?!!! and I hope you have someone else climbing with you. A friend or a family member. Or just someone that’s got yo back. Its fun to climb together!
On a side note…I wrote some stuff for my bucket list today. And I started reading “the Hole in our Gospel” by Richard Stearns today and man friends if you want a book that will wreck your heart in the best way possible read this book. God asks for everything of us. We are not doing enough for his people. We are failing as Christians in many ways. but its not too late. Its not to late to step up to the plate and care for "the least of these".DO SOMETHING! In that way we are caring for God. This revolutionary love we have found in Christ can seriously change the ENTIRE WORLD and the face of poverty entirely if we put our faith into true action! HOW COOL IS THAT?! God is alive!!!
amen.

hand crafted masterpiece

Have you ever heard the song “Benjamin” by Sanctus Real?
It’s about the lead singer who is welcoming his son into the world in the same hospital that on a different floor his dad is being diagnosed with terminal cancer. It’s a song that’s about both life, and death at the same time. People think that if you think too much about death than you aren’t really living and you should just live and do what feels good now. I think that’s a message our culture loves to send. But thinking about death makes me hold life more dear. This isn’t because im afraid to die.(Im gonna dance with Jesus!) This is because im afraid not to truly live. Not to truly serve God and all others to my potential. To waste my talents.and to be judged for wasting them.(Matthew 25:14-30). My time here is short really. In the big scheme of things. It’s a blink. I don’t want to wake up at 36 or 52 and feel like I never really lived. This isn’t Tuck Everlasting folks. So I think about my precious time here and it helps me live. I think about the people that God has put in my life and it overwhelms me. Its crazy that I even know these people. Like so your born and live in the same time period as someone else and then you live where they live and you go to church where they go or you go to school where they go or you see them in the grocery store. Its like wow. All the people you will see in the duration of your life is such a small minuscule fraction of all the people who have ever lived. And lets talk about time frame. Im so glad I was born now and not a hundred years ago (Although I like to think me and Susan B. Anthony would have been good pals) My lifes views would have been so different. I would have probally worked towards rights my whole life that I already have at age 21. And other people have paved the way for that with their life’s work. And now let’s talk about family. God picked my one mom one dad one brother one sister on Uncle John bob do you get the drift? You are not only Unique but the people in your life are unique too. And not only that but the people that your closest too is such a complete gift. That you met them. Some might say I’m looking to far into something that seems so simple. But if you knew the people in my life you would understand that they fit so well into my life. I treasure them and each one of them and each one of my close friends adds something so specific so unique to them that Im glad they weren’t born in the 1700s in England or in 1899 in Idaho. Or Im glad my college friends were born in the late 80s early 90s. do you get the drift? Its craz. Your life is truly a chose your own adventure book and I think the people are a HUGE part of that adventure. My new favorite movie (gasp I know) is Shawshake Redemption and in that Morgan Freeman says” I guess it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying”. I chose to live and I chose to acknowledge the absolutely beautiful people Christ has filled my life with.
Friends, Your life is a Unique, Hand crafted masterpiece by the God of the Universe. What more could you ask for?

You are a Leaf

I wrote this exactly like I talk so unfortunately the more you can speak "mary" the easier you will be able to decipher this. I apologize for that!)

What is action really? Action is beautiful. Action takes faith. I’ve started to notice many non profit organizations are people that saw a need, where moved by what they saw and decided to step in and try to fill it. From widow groups, to adequate childcare, to adoption non profits to online help forums, HIV for orphans advocacy groups. You name it. Someone formed that forum, non profit, etc. because they saw a need. They saw that something wasn’t being met. and they stepped out in faith. I am inspired by that. I find action is more natural than we think it is going to be. Something happens in your life- Sparks an emotion of some sort- you act. What breaks your heart for the kingdom? Now you naturally act. You act because you’ve encountered something that makes you uncomfortable.If God's put passions in your heart then there is a solid reason they are there. Pray about it. Respond. Be moved. The biggest thing Im learning is God uses ordinary people to do extrodinary things for his purpose. These people have acted on it. Its wonderful really. There is freedom in action. What stops you from acting on things that break your heart? Because if they break your heart there's a good chance they break Gods too. If your passionate about education inequality or adoption or widows or human trafficing issues or missions then Go for it. Do something. i love to see what my friends are passionate about. Its often different but its so beautiful. I think of like the colors of leafs in the fall and how they are different and the leafs are different but there shapes and colors add so much to that individual branch. As a christian you are a leaf on a GIANT GIANT TREE! we are all different but can still add so much! And we can ACT on what moves us! I find these people that have created these non profits to be ordinary people with radical faith. To step out in action requires that. Radical action requires radical faith which requires radical sacrifice. A life loving others for Christ is the only life worth living. Because when we step out in faith and act we are being the body of Christ. And that not just what we are called to do but it becomes a joy. Even if it seems unnatural at first. Let people think your crazy. and not this like im a Christian I can say whatever I want stuff even though its not theologically backed but merely emotionally charged. I mean crazy like wow that person has hope and joy ive never seen before. Or why did that person just open the door for 30 people? Or wow that person made me feel valued. Or wow my family member just showed me so much grace. Action+grace=makes up crazy looking and its suppose to. Think about who are leader is. When Jesus was on the Earth he hungout with the outcasts and the broken. Theres so much scripture about caring for the poor and instruction to love the orphan and the widow. Lets make people think we are crazy. Crazy not by what we are against but crazy by what we are for. "We love because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19 Lets show some crazy love to a world in need of Jesus. Lets shows some crazy grace based faith action because we are free in Christ and that makes us FREE TO ACTand he shows us what love is. He is love. Be a Leaf. Be the Leaf you are and Love and Act and Serve and Dance and Sing and Rejoice for you are his